Friday, December 31, 2004

Resolutions of a Well Dressed Librarian



This year? What could I possibly resolve to do this year? I am one of the most resolute people I've ever met in my entire life, not to mention hot.

How about something cliche? "I want to make a difference in the field of library science." Mucho generico.

I already have made a huge difference-just by being a sexy librarian? Come-on. Thats like 8 years worth of contribution to the field.

Of course, I do want to learn Yiddish this year. Thats one. A hot ethnic librarian. Mmmm, kinda makes you all puffy down there doesn't it? Thats my job. Serve the answer seeking public. If they end up having private little fantasies about me and my well fitted trousers, well, thats up to them isn't it?

I do resolve to be a hotter, more Jewish librarian this 2005.

Should I resolve something more?

Maybe. But being a hot librarian is a pretty tall order to begin with. Not many to help share the burden, ya know what I mean. I also resolve to remove the "MLIS student" from my above description on Friday May 13th. I'll replace it with attractive librarian.

Did you just roll your eyes? You can love yourself. Its OK.

Now, off to lay out this evenings clothes for the New Years party at B-'s, and a heartfelt "sorry" to the other two parties I RSVP'd out of.

Moral of this blog: 2005 is going to be pop-your-cork hot for this librarian.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

How long can I rent this for?



Because the almost square state was completely quashed with snow this past week, the library where I work had to engage in emergency shut down mode. The library was closed last Thursday because of the dangerous conditions the weather created. The library was subsequently closed for Christmas Eve day, and Christmas, and as usual Sunday. This meant the public library going crowd was AV free for 4 days.

The library re-opened yesterday. And like drug addicts lining up for clean needles, so too did the AV loving community for the opening on Monday.

Usually, on Monday we have 2 or 3 waiting to get in to the branch. Not this time. A full crowd had lined up. But first some back story.

The book drop was almost totally full of DVD's and Videos. I understand our chief concern is to increase circulation traffic with popular items. But when the BOOK drop is full of VIDEOS there is a small inbalance.

A dear, and favorite colleague recently noted that we should change the sign above the BOOK drop to read "Audio Visual Drop", with a note that you can put books in it as well. No one checks books out of the library. Its all AV.

Which is fine. If you can't read, or have no desire to read...come check out a video or two. The problem is, people are opening library cards for "their kids"...they might as well just call them the "Video gettin' cards". Patrons are allowed 5 videos per card. So, one patron under the guise of a mother with 3 children can check out 20 videos. And they do. And come back for 20 more the next day. At an average of 2 hours per movie, that is 40 hours of viewing for one 24 hour day. How do they do it? Is their a trick I don't know about, further, do I want to know about it?

By now you are thinking "tie it all together dear WDL". So I will. When the approaching storm neared, almost our entire video selection was cleared out. Notably, so were all the eggs, milk, and bread at the nearby grocery store. Panic shopping. Only the library isn't for shopping. No money exchanged.

So why do patrons ask "HOW LONG CAN I RENT THIS FOR?" You aren't paying for anything. You are not renting the movies. This is not Blockbuster, or even NetFliks. Please, you do not ask a department store clerk "Can I borrow this?" and hold up a vase, or a pair of trousers. Yet, the AV loving community continues to ask this question. Best is when they ask for a film that is currently playing in the theatre. We're good, but not that good.

Perhaps its wrote, but these people aren't the video renting kind..thats why they come to the library. Oh, AV lovers. Where do you come from? I encourage you to go back.

Yesterday, someone even asked if we had an ATM machine. Yes, its right next to the popcorn popper.

Moral of this blog: No, we don't have those kind of adult films, sir. I'd try the Lion's Den.

I'm done soaking in it, OR 2004 in Review



2004 is almost over with my dear readers. People ask me, what happened this past year that has really changed your life? Outside of buying a pink ascot, I'm not really sure what has "shaped me", nothing really lights the corners of my mind when I think of 2004. But I'll make a go at it.


CELEB DEATHS
Weezy Jefferson, aka Isabel Sanford
Fay Wray, aka the lady in King Kong
Captain Kangaroo
Julia Child
Madge, the pamolive lady.
Peter Ustinov
Alistair Cooke, the voice of Masterpiece Theatre
Estee Lauder

I could go on. These were just a few that made me gasp when I found out. One of those "ohhh, not them" sorts of reactions.

PUBLIC LIBRARY:

*Mr."Exercise Video", checks lots of them out...only I know he's not exercising to them...well, the way they are meant to be worked out to. But hey, if he thinks its free porn, then let him.

*Getting the new self-check out machines. G-d forbid the public learn to do ANYTHING for themselves.

Disgruntled patron: "You know you are going to lose your job? Computers do it all, I can't even talk to a person anymore"

WDL: "You are talking to a person right now."

*Almost 100% staff turn around at my branch. Maybe it is as dog eat dog as the corporate world.

*I interned at a very prestigious University for my final paper. The only thing that happened in 2004 that made me question wanting to be a corporate librarian. The experience was that wonderful. But, I still want to Thbe Bunny Winters.

*The Well Dressed Librarian's blog was discovered. And not by more adoring fans. It actually drove up my site traffic. Thanks!

*I realized that children under 10 know words like "fuck", "shit", "cunt", "whore", "faggot" and "bitch". Not only do they know them, but use them in context. Ahhh, inner city youth.

PERSONAL:
*I became an uncle for the 3rd time.
*My cat gained 3.5 more lbs, now weighing in at 21.9 lbs.
*I switched to a Chanel fragrance
*I celebrated my 6 year anniversary with my boyfriend
*Hosted my largest Thanksgiving to date
*Went home to visit for the first time in 3 years.
*Seriously invested in China (not the country you idiot, the type you eat off of)..and here you were having kind thoughts of me.

So that wraps 2004. If any of you have other ideas for what you feel shaped my life, please let me know. I'm sure one of my bitter readers will feel that they had a profound effect on me, and will be greatly disheartened when they don't see their name(s).

As you can see, a year boils down to almost nothing. Hard to believe another one is on its way.

Moral of this blog: If you are alone on New Year, just drink more. You won't even notice.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

A Well Dressed Christmas


Holiday Greetings from the WDL. As the holiday approaches, I often become filled with thoughs as to what this time of year means.

Lets start with the weather in the almost sqare state. We have tons of snow. We didn't two days ago, but we do now. Everything as far as my perfectly almond shaped eyes can see is covered with ice and snow. Nothing says Christmas like a level 2 snow emergency. We are trapped here, and unable to leave to visit my boyfriends family...an hour and a half away because my county is surrounded by level 3 snow emergencies, which means no travel. Glad I stocked up on Peppermint Schnapps!

Second, for all of you who induldge in domestic bliss & clearing the walks..some fashion advice. This is the time of year when people have heart attacks while clearing the walks. My suggestion is to dress well, so if you do happen to die, you won't be embarrassed. While I did have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth while I was shoveling..I was wearing cordovan patent leather loafers, chocolate pin striped pants, a white shirt with curry colored stripes, and a Donna Karan pink and salmon tie. This was capped with a white cardigan. I wore a grey wool 8 button pea-coat, a black newsboy cap, and a khaki Burberry plaid scarf. Had I died, my corpse would have been perfectly ready to inter. They would have, of course, decided my cause of death as over exertion, and pulminary failure due to smoking. Clever, no? Of course, designer underwear are de rigeur-and I don't have to mention that to my well dressed readers. I happen to prefer trunk cut boxer briefs, but that is only because I have an incredibally cute and well toned lower abdomen.

Another suggestion for being snowed in: Color coordinate your closet. All your clothes should be in order by color, specifically ROYGBIV order. Blacks, followed by Whites (its alphabetical at that point).

I suggest these things to you because I am not only a fashionista, but also quite practical. Fashion Cares, and so do I.

Shoveling snow in couture may seem impossible to some, but my question is: Have you tried it? Of course you haven't, because you all think shoveling snow isn't a special occasion. Every day is a special occasion in my gracious, gay, Truman Capote world. So look the part. Besides, death isn't pretty, or so they say. We might as well make the best of it, n'est pas?

With these happy yet practical words, I wish you all a Safe & Merry Christmas. And to all my Pagan fans, a belated and happy Winter Solstace.

Moral of this blog:I'm not going to be dreaming about a white Christmas, I'll be living it.

Friday, December 17, 2004

I knew they looked like this



OK, just got a call from my favorite cousin in NY, and she informed me about this. Be warned. I knew it was true. This link is only good for 48 hours, but I actually think that is a blessing.

moral of this blog: Where are the teeth?

Ban Gay Books

Read about this yet? Seems Republican Gerald Allen, who can be contacted at:

State House: Room 531
11 S. Union Street
Montgomery, AL 36130
(334) 242-7758 District: Post Office Box 71001
Tuscaloosa, AL 35407
Work Phone: (205) 556-5310
Home Phone: (205) 556-5310

wants to get rid of all the gay books, and has suggested burying them in a big hole. Now as a Gay Librarian, I do not think this is a good idea.

Does this whole banning books on a specific subject ring any bells to anyone? Hmm. Maybe its just because I'm Jewish too that it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach.

N.B. All the information was taken from his homepage. I didn't have to do much digging to find it.

Moral of this blog: I can suggest a hole where I'd be happy to put a couple of gay books. Perhaps he'll learn by osmosis during the experience.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Hark, the harold jailbird sings

I realize that I promised no more public library blogs, but sometimes things are too good not to share.

Yesterday morning, as I was clearing out the book drop, a few more things came through the slot, and nearly missed hitting my perfectly coifed head. After picking up the DVD's that were returned I noticed a bright red envelope.

"How nice," I thought to myself "the patrons are remembering us this during the holiday season." So I took the DVD's out to the desk, and waved the festive red envelope around, and announced "It looks like we got a Christmas card!"

Then I turned it over, and realized that it wasn't even addressed to us. Instead it was addressed to an inmate, complete with prisoner number.

Of course I didn't open it, that would be a terrible crime. But I realized that I am honestly working in da hood. What is a holiday unless you send a warm fuzzy greeting to an incarcerated loved one? I put it in the out going mail pile, and washed my hands with hot water and soap. The kind we use to take gum off of books.

So, happy holidays to all of you locked up this holiday. Even you dear Ms. Stewart.

Moral of this blog: Jail Mail, its a good thing.

Mmmm. Now Finish me off



Alas I am three quarters of the way done with this MLS degree. I handed in my version of my thesis today: "Bibliographic Instruction and Information Literacy in Undergraduate Institutions". This was after completing "Preservation Selection Methods for print material in Academic Institutions" and "Indexing Non-Print materials."

I am so finished. Today I had a laugh with my advisor. She recounted to me that when I came on board, I was bound and determined to become the next celebrity cataloguer. (who knew there weren't any?). As I handed in my final, I whispered to her "I am switching gears...I'm going reference, I can't handle this..."

While I only half remember saying something like that, its true. I had a bleeding ulcer by the time I was done with my cataloguing final...which hasn't stopped me from taking Cataloguing II this spring. Which reminds me...

I graduate in May. I will officially be the Well Dressed Librarian. Archive Managment, E-Publishing, and Cataloguing II...then I'm finished. I've already finished my scholarly paper...a semester early ...so I won't have to deal with that later. I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I have nothing to do, like I should be researching something. I spent so much time cleaning my house, reorganizing my closet and sock drawer in to color order, and moving paintings around in my house to procrastinate on my real work...and now there isn't any to do. Even my house is immaculate. Maybe I can alphabatize my spice cabinet again...even though its already in alphabetical order. Rainman watch out.

Moral of this blog: Nothing feels better than finishing...especially if its at the same time.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Well Dressed Christmas Party


What a better way to spend the holidays, then going to parties. Last night the WDL went to a fabulous *Christmas* party. The decorations were impecable, and who wouldn't expect that from a friends named CoCo & Amiti? The mantle was decked in white tapers, and pillars, wrapped with tinsel and garland swags. Big band Christmas music wafted through the house. The smell of mulled cider and gingerbread filled my senses.

At any rate, I realized as I looked around at all the happy shiney faces, I was alone. The only Jew at the party. Which in most situations isn't a bad thing. I do enjoy getting a bit of center stage time. I even wore my "Everybody loves a Jewish Boy" t-shirt...(I actually looked a bit skater boy with my Diesel sneakers on).

Fortunately, as the party progressed, another "one" arrived at the party so I didn't feel quite so alone.

I had to laugh. My experience last night was the equivlant of Barbara Striesand's Christmas Album. On odd pairing, but never the less essential.

Did I just call myself essential? And had I been thinking about something besides bringing champagne, I might have remembered to bring the Babs album. In fact, I think I'll play them today. Plus it will give me a reason to belt out Ave Maria.

Moral of this blog: For a successful Christmas party, add one part champagne, one part jews.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Season of Lights

Happy Holidays to all my devoted Jewish fans. Tonight is the second night of Chanukah. Because it is a holiday about the miracle of oil lasting for too long, we get to eat lots of food fried in oil. Doughnuts, Latkas. We also get to eat lots of dairy, thanks to Judith getting the Syrians hammered on cheese and wine. Well, the cheese didn't help get them hammered.

In our house, there are two menorahs. One is lit near a window to let all the nice Christians in the almost square state know that a Jew lives among them. The other is lit on the mantle. Luckily, the holiday will be done in time for my guy to "hang stockings with care" in the same place a bit later.

One of the things I love about this holiday is the shock that people go through when they realize that it is not at the exact same time as Christmas. What were us Jews thinking coming up with our own calendar?

Its also a season for me to wear lots of blue. Today in fact I am wearing a blue cardigan with a blue and bluer Beau Brummel polka dotted tie. I'm glad I don't have to wear Christmas sweaters with glitter and trees on them. Besides, I look miserable in red.

Moral of this blog: NEVER blow out Chanukah candles. Let them burn out!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

R E S P E C T

*picture removed* but imagine Aretha wearing white, and weighing in at around 500 lbs.



This photo was taken at the Kennedy Center honors. I haven't seen Aretha in a minute, but my G-d, how she's grown.

Moral of this blog:White isn't slimming either.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Well Dressed News

*photo removed* DOT PHOTO IS THE WORST PHOTO HOST.
The WDL doesn't often give "props" to those who dress well. Bravo's latest reality show, Project Runway has given me a new small obsession. Mr. Austin Scarlett.

Perhaps the dandiest of dressers since me, he is completely on top of what is couture, and what style means. His hair is a bit reminiscent of the Dentist wanna be elf, Hermey, in Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer. I still think he is one of the prettiest men I've ever seen. I have to confess a small weakness for pretty men. I mean I do like hunky men, but the pretty ones are so nice to see. He even wears ascots. Now that is style.

My advice is to tune into project runway. Check your local listings.

Moral of this blog: Fashion cares.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Naughty Corporate Librarian



Looks like Jodie got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Guess even corporate librarians can be a little bad once in a while.

I put this here to illustrate how NOT to be a corporate librarian.

Keep reading here to learn the proper approach to haute corporate librarianism.

Moral of this blog: Darlin' you give corporate librarians a bad name....

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Well Dressed Librarian



Purely for your viewing pleasure, the WDL on Thanksgiving.

Consumption

Alas dear devoted readers, I have been stricken with the most intense self diagnosis: consumption. Many of you are probably under the impression that such a disease died out with the Victorians. I am here to correct this misconception. I was stricken the evening of Thanksgiving.

After I shushed the last of my guests out, and nearing an entire 24 hours of wakefulness, I retired to my bedroom. When I awoke early Friday morning, I could no longer take deep breaths and a racking cough shook my delicate frame. Alas, once I am awake, I can not go back to sleep. I ventured downstairs for my morning coffee, and was immediately aware that I also could not breathe out of my prominent, yet semitic nose. Clutching my house coat tighter to my person, I wrapped a soft cashmere scarf around my neck. Morning coffee just didn't taste the same, and my après cafe cigarette(s) caused me to cough even more.

Yet I could not retire to my bedroom. I had shopping to do. In hind sight, this was a perfectly wretched idea. After a brisk afternoon of fighting the crowds, I came home and tried to take an early dinner, but these plans were halted once I realized that I could not stop coughing long enough to eat. How completely unpleasant. Back to the house coat and scarf, and into bed. Which is exactly where I have spent the last 3 days. I am feeling better today-my cough is slowly disappearing, and despite the fact I have to omit milk from my morning milk coffee, I am now able to chain smoke with pleasure again. I've found that Baileys works just as well as heavy cream when measuring the pleasure factor in my breakfast beverage.

I am also aware that many of you are on the proverbial pins and needles waiting for the results of my tremendous Thanksgiving dinner. A complete success, despite the fact that I had one no show (and no notice). I promptly removed that place setting, and chair.

My first guests arrived at 12:30, lap dog in tow. With a few extra hands I was able to began my "wine tasting", and generally enjoy what I was doing. Prep work was all done on Tuesday and Wednesday-leaving all the cooking for Thursday. The rest of the guests showed up around 3 pm. Dinner was at 5, and much to my relief lasted for about 1 hour. There is nothing more disappointing then watching all that food disappear in 20 minutes after having slaved over it with such care for two days.

The vegan and vegetarians were delighted with their options, and I was informed by one that "I raised the bar considerably" in what she now considers standard Vegan Thanksgiving fare.

My favorite part is before we eat. I do not say grace because we all come from different corners of the "religious" world, and getting the thanks to G-d would take several prayers. Instead, I ask each person to talk about what they are thankful for. Despite the fact that I promised myself I wouldn't-tears came to my eyes when I thanked all of the people attending for being so dear, while my mishpuka was in far away New York. I realized as I said it that the room was already filled with my family-and this perhaps inspired the moment of damp eyes.

A dear friend said that she was thankful that "The holiday of Thanksgiving has been brought back to life" for her, and that she now "understood what it was supposed to be."

This was my Thanksgiving. 23 bottles of wine (breaking last year’s record of 18), kletzmer jazz, and lots of candles and tremendous home cooked food.

Now I have tired myself out. Next year I will remember to wear a jacket when I run to the store in 35 degree weather, and I will make an effort to wear a scarf when taking my brief "smoking" breaks.

Moral of this blog: Treat consumption by taking fresh air, and wearing cashmere.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving



Well, here it is at almost 7 am, and I've been up for 2 hours already getting ready for my big dinner this evening. Yesterday, I spent most of my day making pies...5 in all. Cherry, Pumpkin, and 3 Apple pies. I am finding this to be the domestic life that I wish that I could live all the time. There is something so relaxing about keeping house, I don't know exactly what that could be.

I have several phone calls to make today, including my best friend from college's Mother...who I have called to wish a happy day to for the past 7 years.

Todays dinner menu includes:

Soup:
Mushroom Soup (vegetable based stock)

Main Course:
Turkey (for the meat eaters) Acorn Squash stuffed with Wild Rice, Cranberries, walnuts and hickory-baked Tofu (for the veggie/vegans)
Stuffing (2 kinds...Grandma Loretta's and one with soy milk and vegetable stock)
Golden Mashed Potatoes with Leeks and Sour Cream
Cranberry Relish (2 kinds...home made & from the can)
Sweet Potato Casserole
Green Bean Casserole
Steamed Greenbeans
Maple Glazed Carrots
Dinner Rolls
Wine/Water/Beer

Dessert:
Apple Pie
Cherry Pie
Lemon Pie
Pumpkin Pie
*whipped cream & vanilla icecream optional
Coffee
More Wine

I am hoping this is enough for my guests, I think it should be. There will be relish trays to start, and dinner is at 5. I've just finished the cranberry sauce.

I am extremely happy to have so much to give thanks for, including my friends, family, and stunning good looks.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you adoring fans, and may your day be as wonderful as I anticipate mine being. And to my adoring Canadian fans, consider this my wish to you...only REALLY late.

Moral of this blog: I am very fortunate.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I'm thankful for what already?



I am thankful that I'm a Jew. And being that it is that time of year to be thankful, I'd like to help all of you have a little more Yid in your souls.

This handy reference work will do the trick, and may be one of the funniest things I've come across in a long time.

It answers all those burning questions you have, and introduces you to a vocabulary used by other fine people-like me.

Moral of this blog: Whats Nu*? Dick and Jane.

*For those who don't get the pun: "nu" is a Yiddish word equivalent to English words like "so?" or "well?," and can be used all by itself to mean "What's new?"

Monday, November 22, 2004

I couldn't resist this quiz


You Are a Flashy Red Bra!


Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating.
You're a charmer, with your pick of the men.
But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are.
You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests!




What Kind of Bra Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

New York



While I was unable to knash on a goodie from the Yonah Shimmel Knish Bakery this time, I still had a wonderful visit to NYC.

I kept hearing "This is why I need to be a corporate librarian." I loved every fast paced second. I love people watching, walking quickly, smoking on the fire escape, getting fresh bagels in the morning...10 steps from my place. And the languages, and the skins, and the cultures all spinning around me. I'm ready to trade in this loaf of Wonderbread life that I have right now for something much spicier. NY is the place for me, and I've got to go back. I just don't want to be too old when I do it. A 4th floor walk up on Park Ave is going to play havoc on my knees.

I was able to go to the grand reopening of the MOMA. How tremendous. Lots of news coverage...I kept tipping my black wool newsboy cap down over my eyes and lifting my Burberry scarf over my mouth to avoid being recognized. Imagine a double mob scene...but it was the MOMA's day, and not mine..so I played along. I was able to see my very favorite piece of art by Max Ernst. Roughtly translated "Two Children being terrorized by a Nightengale". Awww, isn't that precious?

I was also treated to one of my other favorite works "The Lovers" by Magritte, and the delightfully lesbotronic work "Object in Fur".

My boyfriend was charmed by the work of Giacometti. It was refreshing to see that he is still keenly titualated by tall, thin, sharply featured men.

SoHo, NoHo, Chelsea and Spanish Harlem. Even ventured to Brooklyn to see some modern dance. Pina Bausch is amazing.

Moral of this blog:Knish or no knish, NY is delish.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Defrost



28 pounds of this once feathered friend are now defrosting in anticipation of being consumed by 20+ lovely guests.

I realized with my trip to NY coming (at 3pm today)I would not have time to buy and properly defrost my bird. Now some of you may be gasping in horror that I didn't call my Kosher Butcher and order this well in advance. I'm on a beer budget with champagne tastes. *how delightfully white trash to use that phrase!* Frozen is lovely when done properly. 4 lbs a day in a refridgerator will defrost. So, I'm fine. Anything still looking a bit frozen will be cured in the brine bath it gets before I stuff it.

Stuff the turkey that is.

I still have to put my product and other toiletries in my small carry-on valise. Stay tuned for more Thanksgiving updates. If anything, I will have you all hosting lavish dinner parties-even if you aren't a well dressed librarian. Which I hope you all are.

Moral of this blog: This is the only time of year I find myself sticking my hand wrist deep inside of anything.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Corporate Librarianism in the News

Detroit Carreer News September 10, 2004

Demand for corporate librarians rises

Information managers reinvent profession to meet modern needs.

By Kathy Carlson / Gannett News Service


When Kenlee Ray retired after 24 years with the World Bank, she first volunteered with a high school in Zimbabwe and then became an information-management consultant.

Her job at the World Bank?

Librarian.

Gone are the days of shushing and the Dewey decimal system, of linoleum floors and musty volumes. Now, being a librarian takes Internet savvy, organization, keen business sense and a touch of a detective's skills.

Librarians often manage a company's information resources, including "best practices" that successful company veterans want to pass on to a firm's new hires, Ray said. Another new avenue is corporate intelligence, or staying one step ahead of the competition.

It's all part of a push by librarians to reinvent their profession.

"We don't just live in the traditional four walls of the library anymore," said Mandy Baldridge, an account executive with InfoCurrent, an information-management staffing company. "We've made ourselves necessary to the organization so we can be in many different areas of the organization."

How librarians fare professionally and economically depends on how they define themselves, said Bonnie Hohhof, editor of Competitive Intelligence Magazine, published by the Society of Competitive Intelligence Professionals.

The future is in electronic information tailored to an individual's or business' needs, she said. Librarians need to work on a "higher level, providing information that supports the decisions of the company."

That's where special librarians come in. Most often they work for corporations, private businesses, government agencies, museums, colleges, hospitals, associations or information management consulting firms.

American Library Association data indicate that, as of December 2003, there were 8,350 special libraries in the United States, a figure that included corporate, medical, law and religious libraries but not public, academic, armed forces and government libraries.

Demand for corporate librarians is expected to grow. The out-placement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc. named corporate librarian as one of its top three hot jobs for 2004, with an average annual salary of $60,000-$65,000. That figure jibes with the Special Libraries Association's survey of members' salaries, in which the average annual pay was about $61,500 a year - higher than the salaries of librarians overall. Challenger Gray predicted more than 100,000 new jobs for corporate librarians between 2000 and 2010.



Monday, November 15, 2004

Back East



Despite the fact that my domestic bells are ringing as Thanksgiving nears, I have decided to take a small detour and go back East for a few days. I'll be catching some modern dance at BAM, sipping macchiato at one of my favorite cafes across from the now defunct Canal Street Jeans Company, and staring at men in Little Italy despite the fact that a)I have a boyfriend and b)They are probably Mafioso and straight.

I hope to take a picture in front of Patience and Fortitude despite the fact that they are both getting "make overs". Its tradition. I have way to many pictures like this. At any rate, don't miss me too much. I promise to come back and fill all of your hearts with stories of cheer and etc.

Plus MOMA just reopened? What are my chances of getting tickets? Hmmm. Better make a few well placed phone calls.

And do not fear. My Thanksgiving update will be posted soon. I'm looking at a sit down for 20, and more to show up after for dessert and vino!

Moral of this blog: Always travel light. Or just be light in the loafers.

Friday, November 12, 2004

What Not to Wear



Today I attended a professional conference in the big square state. It was a biggie too. I have never been so acutely aware of where the stereotypical librarian look emerged from as I was today. A phrase a friend used often came to mind "Mother of
G-d!" I wondered if some of these people knew that they were going to a professional conference today! I'm letting go of the people I saw wearing jeans, and festive seasonally embroidered vests and sweaters. I can not let go of the mock turtle necks though.

Mock turtle necks. Are these the ultimate tie repelling garmets? I know I've talked about ties before, and the floor is divided on my opinion. But by wearing a mock turtle neck, you are saying "not only will I not wear a tie, but I've taken prevetative measures." Please go to your closets and throw away your mock turtle necks. In fact in one presentation, I expected the two speakers to break out into folk music a la A Mighty Wind.

As for stereotypes, I saw my fill of corderoy jackets, wash and wear trousers, pleated front khaki's, and Comfort Zone-esque loafers on the men. And I seemed to be the only one WITHOUT facial hair of some sort. It can look good, I've often thought of the pencil moustaches as being especially glam. But Beardy McBeardenstiens were everywhere.

Outside of all of that, the presentations were well worth my time, and I actually learned a lot about buidling a resume or CV, the USA PATRIOT act (which I didn't realize that USA PATRIOT was a huge acronym) and the potential for getting published as an undergrad. The woman from Bowling Green was amazing, and I really want to read more of her work.

Its nice to feel inspired every now and again. But enough of the mock turtle necks, OK?

Moral of this blog: 'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?'

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Not Proper



This is what the WDL is reading right now. When I was just sitting here thinking of myself, I thought..."what? you've never wrote and told your dear dear fans what you read? and you call yourself a librarian?"

I quickly reminded myself that I actually call myself a Well Dressed Librarian...the emphasis being strictly on the haute librarian panache that I exude. But Yes! I do enjoy a good sit down with a book.

Right now I am reading, cover to cover Ms. Post's 17th edition of what is proper decorum and what isn't. I'm glad to know that spitting on sidewalks is still a no-no. But I am also reading A Passion To Preserve: Gay Men as keepers of Culture. It is a delightful look inside the world of preservation...antiques houses, etc and how gay men played a strong role. And lots of what not and etc about sexual roles of gay men...perhaps a bit stereotypical for the fag who will not admit to enjoying a whif of Grandma's Chanel perfume and can rebuild the chassy under his hood..but for someone like me, its triumphant. I am a keeper of culture.

While the age of "thank you" notes on personal stationery is gone, I continue to plug along..handwriting them in my favorite black Waterman ink and Green fountain pen. I find myself obsessed with etiquette because sometimes there isn't much to hang on to, yet decorum is always there like a faithful lap dog. If you look.

When I lived abroad it amazed me that people even had escaltor etiquette, something that seems to have never even emerged in the States. Then again, we are talking about me - the person who notices if your belt buckle isn't the same color metal as your watch. It's in the details.

Agatha Christie's Miss Marple has a "Village Theory", that every person is basically a personality type based on an archetypal figure from her village of St. Mary Meade. Its true. 95% of the people I've met..I've met before in some way shape or form. Its truely in the details. Before me, there was my hero Beverley Nichols. I am sure someday there will be another well dressed, OCD, snobbish prude that I narcissistically identify with. Who were you? Or better yet, who would I say reminded me of you?

All of this wraps up to one thing: People have forgotten where they came from. The people before them. Its good to remember your manners. If you don't-your just going to have someone like me remind you of them. WHICH is OK, according to Emily Post. Perserve your past.

Moral of this blog: When carrying an open umbrella, it is common courtesy for the taller person to lift their umbrella slightly higher so as not to hit the other person's umbrella.

Friday, November 05, 2004

See, I wasn't kidding



This article on Canadian residency just popped up on Yahoo. Apparently, thousands of people checked to find out about it. Interesting read.

Recovery



So what does any self respecting faggy librarian do to pick himself up?

The Ballet of course.

Today I took in a matinee performance of a modern ballet. Being surrounded by elderly women, nanny's with thier wards, and a few school children are just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps you thought I'd still be sulking and wearing black? Au contraire.

I've heard a few concerns voiced about the sentiments contained in my last post. First, let me assure you,dear republican fans, that I do not hate you. I will only go on thinking that while you love me, you just detest my moral fiber, my orientation, and my liberal mindset. I had no idea how many republican readers I had until I got lots of lovely letters from you-thank you all for your assurances.

Other things I shall do to help me recover, as I do with any situation that I feel emotionally at a loss:

1. Shopping. It supports the economy. I'm going to try to buy from the little guys. Try. It would be easier if they sold Chanel fragrances at the Farmers Market though.

2. Smoke more.

3. Go to bed earlier. Then I'll have to be more productive during the day. Thats actually a double bonus.

4. Take in more culture. I do love the arts.

OK, so really, I do these things all the time anyway. If nothing is going to change, then NOTHING is going to change here either. Ahhh. Good. So, adoring fans, do not worry, WDL will remain the same too-only I won't get to appoint 3 supreme court justices in the next 4 years.

Moral of this blog: Treat malaise with ballets, and you'll be fine.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Aftermath



I went to bed at 1am with hope. I woke at 3:30 to check CNN, and watch a bit of CNN on the tellie. I woke again at 5:00 to check CNN again...and just stayed up. All 161 lbs of me was numb. These were not the results I anticipated. I had visions of John Kerry shaking his fist in victory on the font steps of the Boston Public Library.

Mr. Kerry, you did not let me down. Its the rest of the red states. I don't know how I'm going to fare in this environment. My state voted to ban gay marriage. Do I live in a country that will so willingly take my tax dollars, and deny me rights that everyone else has? I guess so. 4 more years. Hopefully, like my Undergraduate years-it will all pass quickly, minus the haze of booze and too many cigarettes. Perhaps that was the key to making it pass so quickly-but I don't think a drunk librarian who smells like smoke will be an assett. But at this point, I'm not feeling like much of an assett to anyone-especially my country.

I kept my Kerry/Edwards sign up on my front door in hopes that a miraculous number of votes would be found somewhere in the state of Ohio-making Kerry's concesion speach unnecessary. I suppose I'll take it down now, and sit quietly in my sitting room, drinking tea with a splash of bourbon. Despite being chastised for my "ivory tower-esque" behavior-it will be the creature comforts of my home that I can rely on.

Do the republicans I know really hate me? Or do they just love George Bush more? Do these people want for me to be stripped of rights while my tax dollars pad their social security? Perhaps I'll never know. While I've realized that the world doesn't revolve around me, I can't but help be paranoid that the people who I associate with, sit next to, send holiday cards to- may actually despise every thing about me. Thats a tough pill to swallow.

Moral of this blog:
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


Sunday, October 31, 2004

WDL ENDORSES KERRY

Sunday October 31, 2004

ALMOST SQUARE STATE (Reuters)- The Well Dressed Librarian has released his endorsement for John Kerry. Despite the risk of becoming a pariah among his adoring republican fans, he "felt this was necessary". Over tea and small sandwiches, the WDL repeatedly stressed that it was "important for the nation to get out to the polls", and "exercise [their] right to vote". He feels that Kerry will be able to push the states back into some order, create jobs, and not create an environment for gay Americans that would push them back "60 years". He additionally noted that it would not harm Americans to have a first lady who spoke 14 languages fluently.



Please people. Get out to the polls on Tuesday. Vote. Call your friends to vote. Its OK to vote for Kerry even if your domineering parents are voting for Bush. To my adoring suburban housewife faction: Your husband doesn't need to know you voted for Kerry. Hopefully he will be too. Some of these swing states need to be swung already. Help make this happen. Put this nation back on track. If you have home bound friends, drive them to the polls. This election is vital! We can not survive 4 more years of this continuing nonsense.

Moral of this blog: I am the Well Dressed Librarian, and I approve of this message.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Temper Temper!!



Dear Mr. Self Important,

I am so sorry that you drove for 2 hours after attending a funeral to come to class today. I suppose that excuses you for acting like a totally absorbed, overly important, self righteous fool. I'm paying to take this class too. I would have liked it if you didn't leave the professor rattled when you made your dramatic exit.

Perhaps as an undergraduate your professors liked being verbally abused infront of the class. Perhaps you never heard of the old saying "Excuse me, could I make an appointment with you after class?" Instead, we got the show of you reprimanding the professor and then you grabbing your things and storming out of the room.

You were unprofessional, and despite your load of 6 classes..this just doesn't look good. I don't know where the rest of your education came from, but disrespecting professors because you think you are misunderstood is a terrible idea. Especially when you do it infront of other students, who could some day be your colleagues.

I hope you sleep well tonight. You can put away the cranky when you change into your pajamas.

All my best,
WDL

Friday, October 22, 2004

Romanticizing the libraian



To the curious, my health has returned to me, in part from the gracious outpouring of get well wishes from my devoted readers.

For the past several weeks my spirits have been sagging. Hearing about "saturation of the job market" and the "funding and budgetary cuts" being suffered by many libraries has made my heart sink. Yet in the back of my mind, the librarian I want to be has endured. It was pointed out to me by a colleague that "I make the life of a librarian sound so romantic", and indeed I stand by that sentiment.

We are taught to believe that librarians are chronic shushers, ill spirited old women who are gaurdians of the books. Has anyone stopped to think of all the people who are non-traditional librarians? Glamorous lifes they lead. A few examples.

*Corporate Librarians-knowledgeable and generously paid individuals who can afford a wardrobe. Smart, sassy, and chic. My favorite corporate librarian is one of the smartest women I know, as well as one of the smartest dressed women I've ever met. Not your typical librarian.

*Auction House Cataloguers-Dealing with some of the finest objects you can imagine. Invites to cocktail parties because they talk about more than books, and considered "marketing tools" by many. They can discuss the current market price of many items, as well as discuss their provenance in detail. Delicious.

*Luxery Cruise Line Librarians- They travel the seven seas, and speak several languages. They maintain collections on board luxery liners that please the international masses. Plus, they stay in posh quarters, and have travel perks that make Robinson Carusoe look like a house-bound geriatric.

*Preservation Librarians-Shocked that this is mentioned? There are fewer than 200 of them. Usually they hold faculty positions, and publish. Many of them speak as guest lectuerers at prestigious conferences held globally. They fix our libraries up after disaster strikes. They are sort of the knights-in-shinging cardigans in our profession.

*Special Collections Librarians-NY Botanical Garden, Bronx Zoo, Fashion Institute of Technology, MOMA, New York State Music Association, l'Opera : All of these librarians essentially get to play with what they love all day long. Not all of them are called librarians...sadly. Imagine being the historian for the House of Chanel, or the Edith Piaf museum in Paris. Each a bona fide librarian.

*Historic Library Librarians-The Bodlian, The Radcliffe Camera, Sorbonne, The Library of Congress, Yale: Sexy old libraries with rich, decadent librarians quarters. Perhaps the pay isn't as fabulous as the librarys' architecture-but you have a mahogony desk and genuine tortoise shell lampshades. One can not argue with the thought of this being on your business card.

Libraries are romantic. Not in the "dry hump the librarian" sort of sexy way, but in a historically, waxing poetic sort of way. They've endured, and we get to act as gatekeepers for them. Showing them off like a new engagement ring to each new set of eyes that walk in. That is beautiful to me. I've wanted to do this since I was 4 years old-and the day is soon approaching when I'll be able to "show my place off".

So as for the bun headed, support hose wearing, corderoy, asexual stereotype...put it to bed. A majority of my readers have already broken out of the mold. A beefy, handsome archivist, a sasspants curate at the Chrysler Museum, a vintage cardigan, horn rim wearing bombshell public librarian...all proud of our jobs, and having jobs to be proud of.

Maybe my rose tinted lenses don't see the picture clearly, but if dillusions of grandeur get me where I want to be, then I say wear them.

Moral of this blog: Turn down the furnace, its the librarian that is hot.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I blame Chanel



Because nothing makes me feel better than sympathy, I've decided to write to you, my devoted readers,from my sick bed.

Imagine me, propped up by well upholstered pillows, steaming tea at my bedside, my white-posh-hotel monogrammed housecoat wrapped around me, capped with a cashmere Burberry scarf. It seems that no matter what I do, I feel even worse than before.

My obese housecat Moscow is standing sitting gaurd over me, and the drone of some voice on NPR keeps me company. I detest being sick. I can't be sick. I have too many things to do. Besides, I haven't got a housekeeper, and being sick without a housekeeper is absolutely no fun. Think about it. I have to get up to pour myself more tea! The idea is horrible.

In my entire life, I can remember being sick about 5 times. I think my icy constitution keeps the flu and colds away...not even they want to deal with me. On occasion, a brave strain makes it through and into my svelte, bookish build. I am being molested by a cold.

As an almost librarian working with the public, you know where I am going to cast the blame. It is the public, with their sticky books and open coughs, and spray action sneezes. It is the children who touch me, the patrons who are "close talkers", and a lack of hygene all around. Despite my sudsy bath sponge baths, vitamin routine, and hand washing mania-one sneaks up on me once in a while.

And this leads me to my conclusion. I blame Chanel. I let Marc Jacobs take a break, and began wearing Allure. It is the perfect fragrance for the perfect librarian. But perhaps it was the allure of Allure that drew all those patrons inches too close to me. "follow the fragrance" they thought, and like children looking into the Christmas display windows of Macy's...they gaze upon me much too closely. I can hear them from 2 feet away..a normal comfort zone, and yet...inches from my face they regale me with stories of lost books, burglaries that have left them bereft of their library materials, and other amazing feats of biblio-loss.

They must touch my palm when giving me fine money, even though I have taken the time to master the art of "the non-tactile pass off". And as I've mentioned before, I am not allowed to take liberties with the Lysol that sits so close to the desk.

I imagine I'd use it like mace anyway.

I am tired now. I need to rest. Send me your well wishes, you dear dear readers.

Moral of this blog: Even sickness can be stylish.

Its off to work we go



I thought it might be helpful to post a few job listings here as I receive them. If I can't get them, maybe someone else is able to!

The Cleveland Area African American Library Association (CAALA) is
dedicated to helping Afrrican American in the Library and Informatin
Science profession address their needs as minorities in the specialized
field of information dissemination.

CAALA is pleased to extend their services to Library Science students
who attend KSU-SLIS but who live in the Greater Cleveland Area.

For questions about CAALA, please contact Carol Johnson-Russell, Public
Relations Chair, or Lainey Westbrooks, President of CAALA, at
216-541-4128, extension 229.
Or, send an e-mail to lainey.westbrooks@ecpl.lib.oh.us



This is the official ad for my position, which appeared in yesterday's Columbus Dispatch. I will be here until 4 pm Monday, Nov. 1st.
Sandra Wicker, Librarian, The Parker Medical Library, Grady Memorial Hospital/OhioHealth, 561 W. Central Ave., Delaware, OH 43015
Tel: 740-368-5335, FAX: 740-368-5770, email: swicker@gradyhospital.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Medical Librarian




Grady Memorial Hospital has a full-time opportunity available for a Medical Librarian.



This position is responsible for the daily management and operation of The Parker Medical Library. The librarian conducts literature searches for users, answers reference questions, compiles information packets, assists in the training and supervision of the library volunteers, collects and compiles appropriate library statistics, and assists in the ordering and processing of library materials.



Candidates must have a Master s degree in Library Science, one to three years library experience, computer experience including word processing, Internet searching, and electronic medical databases including MEDLINE and CINAHL. Knowledge of library policies and procedures, medical terminology and basic information sources in medicine, nursing, allied and consumer health and supervisory experience is preferred.



We offer a competitive salary, comprehensive benefits program and the opportunity for professional development. To apply, please e-mail your resume and salary requirements to: jobs@gradyhospital.com, or mail to 561 West Central Avenue, Delaware, OH 43015.



www.gradyhospital.com



1. REPUBLICAN VALLEY LIBRARY SYSTEM
Position: System Administrator

Search committee will begin reviewing applications on October 29, 2004

Salary& Benefits: $38,000-$43,000 (Depending on Qualifications, plus benefits.

Summary: Opportunity for creative, motivated M.L.S. professional to plan and direct 20 county, multi-type library system. Emphasis on developing programs/services.

Qualifications: Residency within the System, valid driver's license, M.L.S. froma an ALA-accredited library school, and extensiver travel/consultation within System area required. Knowledge of technology and library software important. Public library experience desired.

Candidates Should Submit:
-application letter
-resume
-three current work related references

To Apply: Send all materials to-
Republican Valley Library System
c/o Vicki Perrie
2727 West 2nd Street
Hastings, NE 68901

Questions or Additional Information:
rvlsasst@tcgcs.come


2. PURDUE UNIVERSITY
Position: Director of Technology and Sponsored Research

Review of applications will commence December 1, 2004 and continue until position is filled

Salary& Benefits: Commensurate with qualifications and experience

Summary: Seeking a creative, innovative and experienced person to head digital technology reserach efforts and manage technology operations within the Libraries. Will expand and enhance existing working relationships with other information systems units at Purdue, as well as with academic departments and labs engaged in complementary reserach efforts. Will be a member of the libraries' senior management team and will contribute to long-range planning, program development and evaluation, budget formulation, and allocation of resources in support of the Libraries' mission.

Qualifications: Masters degree in Library or Information Science from an ALA-accredited program. Seven or more years experience. Demonstrated knowledge of best practices and current trends and issues in the application of technology. Work effectively in a matrix environment, effective communication, interpersonal, analytical, and creative problem-solving skills.
Candidates Should Submit:
-cover letter
-resume
-three current references

To Apply: Send all materials to-
Thomas L. Haworth
Human Resources Administrator
Purdue University Libraries-HRS
504 W. State Street
West Lafayette, IN 47907-2058

Additional Information about university library:
http://www.lib.purdue.edu



Good luck.

Moral of this blog: Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match...



Saturday, October 16, 2004

HEY JEW'D!



To all my Jewish Librarian Peeps, go apply for this scholarship. It could help you buy a couple of books.


I will admit, I have not applied for a scholarship since I was an undergrad, but they paid for so much stuff. As an almost librarian, I feel I would be remiss for not sharing this one, that and the guilt of not sharing it. Oy.

You don't actually need to be Jewish, just studying library science with a focus in Judaica. But it helps if you are hot and Jewish too. OK, that helps me. Nevermind.

Moral of this blog: Scholarships = Free Money. Now to find a dinner party scholarhip....

Monday, October 11, 2004

Coming Out Day



I hate to astound my readers, but in honor of National Coming Out Day I have decided to tell all my readers something. My boyfriend is gay. Yes, its true. He's a homosexual. I don't mind, it seems to have its perks.

When I was an undergrad, I don't remember National Coming Out Day. I'm sure it exisited, but I was not aware of it. Last night was my first Sunday night on Reference Desk at Practicum College. On my walk up to the doors of the fabulously built 1937 building, I noticed all the "come out come out where ever you are" chalkings on the sidewalk...including my new favorite "Boys will do boys". The mid 90's allowed us to be seen and heard...but not like this. I'm so glad that I have been an openly faggy guy...its blazed trails for the masses.

And best now, I'm going to be a librarian...so I can inform the young and yearning masses about the history of gaydom. Although this won't be my primary responsibility. I prefer to think of myself as a role model for the students in that I've perfected the balance between my fashionable nature and my kind heartedness. People can see that homos are more than interior designers and floral arrangers. We can also be big gay librarians. And with such a butch profession under my belt (that matches my shoes) I can be bold in my endevours.

Male librarians seem to have gotten a bad rap. Sure there are more women...but hey, what a better way to meet chicks. Infiltrate them covertly. So to all you hunky, sexasonic men who have found themselves in a quandry...come be a librarian. There is nothing I'd love more than to work with hilarious pretty women and strapping, smart men. Trust me, its totally for your benefit...not for my pleasure.

So, happy coming out day. Let someone know you are queer today. If you are. Read the rules on the homepage, you don't have to come out unless you are gay. I just wanted to be clear on that. The gay rule handbook is very strict about those things.

Moral of this blog: Good luck to all of you starting your journey today, you can thank me later for encouraging you.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Dear Martha



In case you live under a rock, Martha has been sentenced to 5 months at Alderson Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, West Virginia. She begins her sentence tomorrow.

For other devotees, this information might be useful. A few words of encouragement while she is away from home might be nice.


FPC Alderson
Glen Ray Road, Box B
Alderson, West Virginia 24910
304-445-2901
Fax: 304-445-2675


Her inmate number is 55170-054. Her name and inmate number should be
included on any correspondence.

I for one plan on writing.

Moral of this blog: Letter writing. Its a good thing.

Like Sand through an hourglass



These are the days of my life. I started this blog almost a year ago to chronicle my grad school experience. I did not expect that anyone would read the entries let alone comment. I had no idea what a blog was until I googled "library grad students thoughts" or something like that..and came across the Male Centerfold Librarian (aka Jonny Angel) and began to realize that this community needed a voice, or at least realized I wanted this community to hear my voice.

This past week I did something that I was looking forward to last fall. I registered for my last three classes. I will have my MLIS around Mother's Day 2005. It couldn't be happening at a better time. I was just talking to my dear Mother and whining about how much grad school is burning me out. She told me time passes by quickly, and that when my last year began...before I knew it I'd be graduating. Turns out she was right...registering for these last few classes has really given me the "second wind" that I needed right now.

So, in the spring as tulips push their way through the earth, and as the robins start laying eggs I will be taking Archive management, Cataloguing II, and web publishing. I am glad that I am nearing an end, but also sad that I will be leaving so many of my dear colleagues behind. A few in particular:

1. The delightful museum curator, who instructs belly dancing in her free time.

2. The comic obsessed, horned-rim glasses wearing beauty.

3.My dear dear advisor, who has put up with my type A personality, left her homephone number for "my emergencies" with the departmental secretary, and returns my emails within 15 minutes regardless of the time they are sent out.

4. My coffee and cigarette after class worrier with the black-bob.

There are many more, and in an almost unfair way I can't spend the time listing them all. This also means that its about time for this blog to take a new direction. I'll no longer be the "fashionably dressed MLIS student". I'll be the fashionably dressed librarian, and I'm hoping I'll have a job right out of school.

Despite all this, I am very pleased with the direction my education has taken. I've learned a tremendous amount about librarianship...enough so that people now have to sit through a 15 minute schpiel when they dare ask "Librarians need a Masters degree?"

So, *raising my Johnson Brothers cup from its matching saucer* Here's to the next generation of librarians. Thank you for reading, there is more to come.

Moral of this blog: ALA is about to have its hands full.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

ORDER UP!



One may ask what a well dressed librarian does in his down time. I have dinner parties. Last night I broke all records for myself, and hosted a sit down dinner for 35 people. It was actually a welcome to the department dinner for my boyfriends ENTIRE grad department..1st through 3rd year grad students.

Up until this point, I had capped at 18 for my largest dinner party...which was actually a Thanksgiving dinner, and as my Mother reminds me, Thanksgiving IS NOT a dinner party. I digress. Despite the fact that I had to serve people on 4 different sets of china..I think things went well. Thank G-d I had enough matching wine glasses. I felt like a terrible host serving off all those paterns at once, but people seemed to be more astounded that they were eating off china than anything else.

Another fun part was commandeering my neighbors kitchen. I need another stove top, and more counter space. Townhouses are great, but galley kitchens do have thier drawbacks. Running back and forth between them wearing my perma-wrinkled Soho find button down, with a pair of gray slacks. Over them, my red-logo apron given to me by Jet magazine...ahhh, the corporate days back in Chicago.

The menu:
*brie, havarti, wisconsin black wax cheddar, seedless grapes (red and green), 5 types of crackers.
*cantaloupe, strawberries, pineapple, bosc pear, and berries
Enough wine to drown a couple of horses
DINNER:
Pesto served over wheat penne
Turkey Linguine
Terragon Eggplant and Tomatoe served over cappelini
Tossed baby greens and sun dried tomatoes with balsamic vinagrette and chevre
Roasted Garlic Loaf, 2 Italian Boules, and a loaf of Rosemary Olive oil bread.
DESSERT:
Apple Pie with whipped heavy cream
German Chocolate cake
Chocolate chip cookies
Vanilla Ice cream
Coffee/Tea

There were candles lit, and Benny Goodman playing all night. What a tremendous time. I really hope this helped bring the department one step closer. It was nice to step out of my librarian role for a night.

Moral of this blog: Burn one; take it through the garden and pin a rose on it. ORDER UP!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Dear Martha,



I am so sorry you will not be able to spend your sentence back East. I know it meant a lot that your Mother would be close to you. Being confined to a part of the south could be worse. They do call it "Camp Cupcake" not that its any consolation. I'd be devestated if I had to stay in the south for that length of time. My best wishes to you.

Your dearest fan,

WDL

Insurance



I am a chronic worrier. Since I was a kid. I remember my fourth grade teacher telling my parents I worried more than all the mothers of my classmates combined. My fifth grade teacher (who was also a Mortician) told my parents that if I didn't stop worrying, I would be consumed. You can only think of what my vivid 5th grade imagination made that phrase mean.

As life went on, life got good. I ended up with lots of nice what-nots and pieces of momento-mori. A home filled with lovely things.

Right now, I am taking preservation management, and have become obsessed with emergeny planning. A dear friend lost his family home in Kingston, Jamaica thanks to Ivan. Another friend lost her home to fire last week. In a nutshell, I had to ask myself, "Am I prepared for disaster?" I surprised myself with a resounding "no".

So, I joined the ranks of the insured. I now have a substantial amount of renters insurance. A neighbor told me she paid "about 100 dollars a year". I went to the same place. After the assessment of my property..lets just say my insurance costs a lot more than 100 dollars a year. Damn deco leather furniture. Damn Johnson Brothers china for 8. Damn original art work. Damn expensive taste. But at least my disaster plan is part way there. As of now, I figure come fire or flood...the cats will get shoved in pillow cases along with a family album, my cufflink/watch box, and my prayer shawl. Oh yeah. I'll grab my boyfriend too.

So, my next step in disaster planning is creating a catalogue of my belongings. Thank G-d for Excel. Ooooh, maybe I'll venture into the world of Cindex. It even sounds sexy.

Moral of this blog: I need a cigarette right now. I can't even think of disaster planning!!!

Sunday, September 26, 2004

They Can Hear You



I have promised no more public library stories, and to that I am sticking to my guns. However, I can extrapolate fine points of etiquette and convey them to you my fellow librarians, and other devotees. (please pronounce that deh-voh-tays).

Believe it or not, non-English speakers are not deaf. I know, I know. I'm always breaking stories here at WDL. But this one is true. Foriegners, or as the French say l'√Čtrangers...do not need you to raise your voice to them.

It is also impertinent to lean in to the conversation and also to wildly gesticulate. They are not lip readers, so a good Donatella Versace after collagen impersonation is equally unhelpful.

I bring this to your attention because at some point in my recent past, I actually witnessed this. I was terribly embarrassed that I saw it happening.

Perhaps the speaker thought that added volume and body language would some how transform our native tounge to a version of Cantonese that no one has yet to hear of.

Moral of this blog: Invest some time with Berlitz. Its much easier.

Friday, September 24, 2004

I'm not eating that



While discussing a dinner party with a friend, we decided that a lasagna dinner party was best for the large number attending this sit down venture.

If you know me well enough, you know that I often speak slower than my mind thinks...resulting in my mouth trying to say several things at once. This was the case last night when I combined the terms "veggie" and "lasagna" to form one of the most jaw dropping foul words I've every jumbled.

"Vegagna"

Veh-john-ya.

Say it a few times. I almost died after I said it. My dear dinner party compatriot dropped her jaw in near horror and amusement..knowing in real life that a word like that would never cross my lips.

Moral of this blog: No, Eve Ensler is not on my invite list.

Blog Lessons



Seems that Penny made a bad choice. This is a valuable lesson learned. These little on line journals are gaining more and more popularity. We must remember that they are publications...not just boring old web pages.

Speaking as a media darling, I would like to ask that bloggers obey the rules that we should all follow. There is not much to it...but in my world everything has a social etiquette attached. We don't want to be a Penny.

A few things to note:

*Don't use real names. Be creative, this is part of the blog adventure.
*Don't give geographic locations that can be tied to yourself. Great, be a librarian in Idaho. Thats all we need to know.
*Don't give out phone numbers, unless you are a blogger-cum-Madame
*Update frequently. You'd hate it if your favorite magazine randomly sent out issues.
*Do find a voice. Mine is biting, somewhat sarcastic & a tad homo. OK, a lot homo.
*Inside jokes are boring on a weblog. If we are all reading it, no one wants to feel left out.
*Be aware that more than just your friends read your blog. I'd love to think I have 26,000 friends..but I know I don't.
and last, don't wear a brown belt with black shoes.

I realize that last one had nothing to do with this, but I felt it was just as important to share that with you.

Carry on. Blog on.

Moral of this blog: Idle blogs are the devils workshop.

PS To all the Jews, don't forget to repent tonight. We only get one chance a year. Happy Holidays.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Moonlight Serenade



I need to stop already. Yesterday after doing my annual Thanksgiving Amberglass shop (I scored 8 amber wine glasses with the most gorgeously thin stems)I came home. Only to find that the little old lady across the street was having a huge estate tag sale. By 6 pm, the buyers were gone, and there was a lot of stuff left. A helpful sign read "It didn't go. You take it".

And then I saw her: the 1947 RCA-Victor Golden Throat of my dreams. And she was in a slightly worn mohagany shell. I could harldy move it by myself. Then a huge cocktail party distracted me, and I was off until this morning.

Wandering over in my housecoat and slippers, she was still sitting there. So, setting my coffee down, and holding my cigarette in my mouth like a pro-seemstress can hold stick pins...I carried it across the street to my driveway. After retrieving my coffee, I had to figure out how I was going to break it to my partner that we had a large new piece of furniture. So, without missing a beat, I polished it, and shined up her bakelite knobs.

When he rolled out of bed, I excitedly lead him to the drive, and he said while scratching his head in his monkey boy way, all while I was doing my best Carol Merrill I was delighted when he responded with an "OK. Where exactly do you want this?" SOLD!! I wasn't going to have to pout and point out all its fine features as I had planned in my well groomed head. Its now in the sitting room, and I've even taken the delicious Maize striped fabric off the big speaker panel. I'm soaking in baby shampoo right now (thats how you clean old linen...trust me). Its going to look simply tremendous.

My fantasy of living in the 1940's is blossoming right infront of my very eyes. I can't wait to put on some Glenn Miller and drink some wine in the comfort of my Post War sitting room.

Moral of this blog: "we meet, and the angels sing!"

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Dear Well Dressed Librarian



Due to an overwhelmingly popular response, Dear WDL is back again. I didn't have to dig too deep into my mailbag to share the following with my adoring public:



Dear WDL,

I was reading your blog, and thought to myself "oh my G-d, I've slept with him". Is it possible that you and I had the romantic rendez-vous that I am recalling?

Remembering the Ride


Dear RTR,

While it is all too possible that at one point during my undergraduate career I did help you wrinkle the sheets, I regret to inform you that I do not recognize you, despite the helpful pictures you attached. As a librarian wanna be, I have kept documentation of all my fast times at Ridgemont High in a little handy source I like to call my journal. A quick cross reference has revealed that indeed I am not the lover you recall. I might suggest that you keep a similar record, to help avoid regression therapy induced memories of lost love.

Dear WDL,

I am not gay. People think I am gay all the time, because I carry a "murse" as you call it, and have clean finger nails. I had a girlfriend last year, but she moved to Topeka after college to work for her Grandfathers business. I don't think its bad that people think I'm gay, but its hard for me to meet girls because I am so shy.

Makin' my own Vagina Collage


Dear MMOVC,

Not exactly a soliciation for advice, is it? People probably don't think you are gay because you carry a murse, and have no girlfriend. People know you are gay. You probably do too. Its actually a lot of fun. Lots of people sending invites to "fix you up with the other gay person" they know, people always thinking you know more about fashion and interior design, and you get the most thoughtful gifts around the holidays...most of which are household appliances and coffee table books about pets. If you think having dirty finger nails will "set you free", then I suggest a good scrape in the sod and buy a briefcase. Perhaps this will convince your cronies that you are not really WDL wanna be. At any rate, I'd start by throwing away all the International Male Catalogues you have hiding under your bed. Bonne Chance. If you understood that, all bets are on :you are gay.

Dear WDL,

First, your blog is great, always makes us laugh...we read it in the office outloud. Second, I was wondering what your take is on casual Fridays?

Desk Jockey


Dear DJ,

How flattered I am to know that I am as enjoyable as I think I am. I'm happy to imagine you all huddled around like a family listening to an FDR fireside chat. So, my take on casual Friday....I'd say that it seems to have sprung a leak. Seems like every day of the week has become casual. Anything that includes denim jeans is casual. Any Men's top that doesn't have buttons is casual. This brings me to my chief concern: casual Friday is really more like "I got out of bed and came to work" Friday. Sweatpants, sneakers, non-work related logo-t's. In an idea world, casual Friday's would mean men wore jeans instead of dress trousers. All the other parts stay the same: Loafers, button down shirts, blazers, and a belt that matches. Women, this means khaki's, and a cardigan over a blouse or well fitted pullover. In the winter, this can include ribbed "skinny" sweaters with jeans (which should be ironed people). Ladies can spice this up with a broach, or my favorite..draped pearls.

I could go on for days. This is a passionate subject for me. Thank you for listening, and continue to "gather round" to read me.

Dear WDL,

How do you feel about food in the library? You seem to have a lot of pet peeves...wondering if this was one of them?

Marvin


Dear Marvin,

Snacks + books = Barnes and Noble. Call me old fashioned, but I don't like to see food in the library. I recall several instances of it, and none of them were what I'd call "neat and tidy". If the library has an annex with a cafe or snack machine where they could eat it, then a tentative OK. If they can sit and have a ham sandwhich while reading Time magazine, I draw the line. It soils the books. I guess in a public library where materials have a high turn over anyway, it might be more acceptable. A resounding 'no' to academic libraries and research libraries. Corporate libraries? Usually the people are too busy drinking cocktails to eat. Well, I was usually to busy having cocktails to notice if they had food. That seems to answer your question, and yes dear Martin, I do have a lot of pet peeves. By sharing them, I in a way provide fodder for my adoring public.

Moral of this blog: Keep writing, I'll keep answering.

Happy New Year



La Shanna Tovah!! It means happy holidays. What to do for the Jewish New Year? It is a time spent getting in touch with loved ones. Only, I call my Mother and Grandmother every day...and talk to my whole family at least once a month. (Thank
G-d for my phone plan!) So, mission accomplished. Resolutions? Its not quite like the other New Year where you get all dressed up, and then get hammered, and resolve to quit smoking and swearing...and then wake up the next morning saying "where the fuck is my lighter?" Those don't work. Plus the "other" New Year isn't religious...G-d watches this one. Its like having a supervisor that won't stop. That is why I have to be such a chronically good boy.

At any rate, I worked. I know I wasn't supposed to, but I did. Which brings me to my next point. My blog has been discovered. It was brought to upper administrations attention by a person who belived they were "doing the right thing". Its a bit more involved than that, but this is what it boiled down to. G-d knows I have enough to write about...so sorry kids. No more public library stories.

It was fun when I was anonymous. If any of the upper admin (namely security and a regional director) would have stumbled across this before they would have had no idea that I was mentioning (without naming names) our library. I am no longer anonymous. They were given the inside scoop, this blog has a face now. So upper admin..a few things you should know:

*I enjoy cheesecake
*I wear a size 11 1/2 shoe
*When I was a kid I was obsessed with Gumby
*I'm a Jewish homosexual with a penchant for expensive things
*I am paid 9.47/hr as a paraprofessional.
*The health insurance offered would consume an entire pay check and a half a month if I opted it for it
*Nepotism rules don't exclude homosexual lovers from working together


Well, thats enough information. Happy New Year anyway. Even to upper administration.

Moral of this blog: See what a little creative writing can do? Start a blog!!

Friday, September 10, 2004

I am trying to add a new face to this lifeless blog, only my HTML skills are about as polished as an old pair of wingtips.

Please email with suggestions, and I have lots of questions too. I'm really interested in buying my own domain name. Any advice? Any of you blog-whores ready to impart with a little tech advice?

email me. I'd adore you for years.

moral of this blog: Begging doesn't become a lady.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Oh, the Humanities



This is pretty much how I am feeling right now, and I will confess that much of it is my fault.

I thought it would be brilliant to get as much out of the way as I could. So I enrolled in 3 classes, and embarked on my practicum. How quickly I came to my senses after "sampling" each of the classes. After the first week, I decided that I was going to drop a class. I chose to drop "humanities reference".

It is amazing the internal process which I went through. I really gave myself a good beating up. I felt like I was letting myself down by not living up to this challenge. I would counter with sage advice given to me by my own Mother..."if a rose bush is sick, you'd cut away the bad to avoid letting the rest suffer." OK, perhaps a bit out of context, but very much the same thing.

Should I take a class that would make the rest of my work suffer? Of course not. Additionally, I'd already taken one reference class that filled that particular educational requirement. Relief, yes? No of course not, because I continued to bully myself.

My schedule was boiling out to 13 hours of practicum a week, 9 hours of classes, 20 hours of my part time job at the library, and then homework. This doesn't include doing laundry, tidying the house, going grocery shopping or anything else that would constitute normal life. Too much for this one here. I can rest comfortably now, and that is the story I will stick with. I have to. I can't afford a bleeding ulcer now. I'm prone to those you know...starting with my first one in the Fourth grade. I haven't had an episode since my sophomore year of college.

Now, I am going to my preservation management class. It is raining, and my dear has our car today. I will be forced to walk through the rain, because I have a fear of buses. Sort of a public bathroom, water fountain fear. I do look rather dapper with a black stick umbrella however.

Moral of this blog: Delicate is as delicate does.

Friday, September 03, 2004

German fire Destroys Rare Books

AP PHOTO

Read all about it here. It's awful.

Moral of this blog: Do not light fires in libraries.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Back at home



Now that I'm home again, and school is once again in session it is time for me to figure out how to keep sane dispite my schedule. This semester includes Indexing & Abstracting, Preservation Management, Humanities Reference, and last but not least, my tremendous 10 hour a week practicum at the post card-esque University. This is in addition to working 20 hours a week at a public library, and having to rival Mrs. Beeton in housekeeping.

In my spare time, to help contain my OCD, I enjoy picking flowers from my garden and arranging them on my mantle. I also enjoy moving the antique tea cups around, as well as switching around my Gorey pen and inks.

I plan to put a few more mums in, and have also started planning my Thanksgiving dinner. One can not go unprepared. This requires re-counting all the depression era amber glass that comes out especially for this holiday. Make sure I haven't missed a piece or used a saucer under a plant somewhere.

Most of all, I am terribly excited about the coming semester. Its going to consume me, so I might as well enjoy it. I am headed down a very well trodden path. I am excited to be a full fledged librarian. Do we get a little pin when we graduate? Like a pilot gets his wings? Something cute and enamel? Anyway, I digress.

Two more classes, and I'm done. May will be here before long.

In the mean while I will continue to enjoy reading Lancasters Indexing and Abstracting, cutting roses, and moving small Parisian antiques around on my mantel.

Moral of this blog: Dear G-d. I just re read this. How gay and uppity can I possibly be?

Home Sweet Nursing Home



I know you have all been eagerly awaiting my next essay on the life of the fashionably dressed librarian. For the past week, I've been dealing with lots of things. Death, Nursing Homes and illness. Ironically, each within its own confines..none related to the next.

First, the management class that I enrolled in was cancelled. Due to the untimely illness and unexpected death of a dear professor.

Then, I went to visit my partners Grandmother deep in the hills of Pennsylvania. After our first day there, I became very very sick. This ultimately ruined a perfectly good visit to see Grandma H.

The nursing home, as pictured above, is deep in the country side. A winding, tree lined, single lane street leads to this rest home. The first thing that struck me was its hospital like quality. Perhaps I've watched too many brit-flicks, but I was expecting a rolling mansion filled with old camel back sofas, lamps with beaded trim, and nurses who wore shawls and white caps. This is not the case at all, gentle readers. The nurses were apple cheeked and wore colorful pullover cotton shirts and white pants. The floors are all tiled, and the rooms were almost institutional.

To cheer Grandma H up, we brought boxes of her costume jewelry. Strings of beads, paste rings, and clip on ear rings. Such a simple gesture brought her so much happiness, and a happiness that was contageous. She is much more mobile and aware than many of the other residents in the home...and she talked about them freely..which served to amuse me.

All of this served to make me wonder, where will I be when I'm old, and what will be the creature comforts that make me happy? Some of the rooms were filled with pictures of family. Others had lots of curio-kitties, or ceramic birds. A few rooms had fresh flowers and a well chosen Oil on the walls. Everyone was dressed for comfort and convenience.

I contemplated my future life in a nursing home. I do not know a day that I do not wear a button down shirt, that requires a good pressing before wearing. I wear cologne. No ironing...no time for that in a home. No cologne...someone may be allergic. No coffee. People who don't talk, just sit in the halls in wheelchairs. I couldn't do it. Would I even be allowed to have a bookcase filled with a few of my favorite volumes? Probably not, they attract dust, which is a huge no-no.

I've decided I will be old at home. I will die behind a reference desk at a ripe old age; much to the astonishment of the patron who will be asking me a question when my ticker deicides to quit. Drama ensues. I love it.

I will not have my life taken away. Grandma is happy. She had 7 kids, and she said she is done fussing and being a care taker, she says its time for someone to take care of her. While she is in a great place, I know its not the one for me.

Moral of this blog: Why am I worried? I plan on celebrating my 29th birthday the rest of my life....

Friday, August 27, 2004

Good Bye Dr. Kim






A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library
— Shelby Foote


Thank you for what you've taught me.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Returns



Oh, how the time has flown. Again, I await my return to University. Only I don't have to wait long. I go back on Monday. Indexing and Abstracting awaits me as I type this. I will also be taking Academic Reference, and if I am lucky I got into Preservation Management. I will also be doing my practicum at a postcard pretty private college, I'm sure it would give Norman Rockwell wet dreams.

One of the things I find myself wondering is "what do academic librarians wear?" I've done the corporate gig...lots of suits and ties and nice details. I've done the public thing...lots of jeans and polos and khakis. My academic experience stops at working the circulation desk..where I did a sort of "corporate-public" meld of apparel..and sported khaki's with a dress shirt, or jeans and a shirt and tie. I am thinking that the librarians might wear ties at this library. The woman who is my practicum advisor is sort of a Jackie Bouvier-Kennedy-Onassis inspired fashionista. Big sunglasses resting on perfectly coiffed blond hair, East coast chic sweaters casually tossed over her shoulders, Burberry chiffon scarfs knotted carefully over draped pearls. And very sassy black heels. I have to look the part if I am going to be her apprentice. Oooh! Apprentice to an Academic Librarian. How fabulous does that sound (to me?).

I've decided to keep it sensible, as I want undergrads to ogle me, but not desire to reach out and fondle my bathing suit area...and yet seem respectable. Funny. I've seen the naughty librarian look on tons of women, but not really on men. I shudder to think of all the collegiate sorority girls that I may attract to the library. Or Fraternity boys. Hmmm. Like moths to a flame. G-d knows I can flame. Scorch on occasion.

Back to school also means seeing classmates that I haven't seen all summer. It also means lots of homework and lots of late nights. I can handle it. If not, I can always go shopping now that my financial aid has come in.

Moral of this blog: style and academics. similar in my mind to bakelite flatware. unecessary but highly desirable.

Rare



I just took this quiz. These were my results:

eXpressive: 5/10
Practical: 4/10
Physical: 3/10
Giver: 6/10

You are a RSIG--Reserved Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a People-Pleaser.

Oh, RSIG! You are the most complicated and dynamic of any type. You are brilliant, tender, romantic and a joy to be with. You're the favorite of many of your friends. It's just not a party until you get there. You are bursting with feeling and sentiment and insight but you very rarely express it -- it's not how you want to present yourself to the world. Although you are always studying your non-romantic relationships -- you turn a blind eye to romantic relationships.

You're highly adaptable, and you conform to your circumstances (maybe you're a youngest child?). You would probably be content with almost anyone, and almost anyone would be blissfully happy to have you. But just because you're content doesn't mean you're happy. Don't settle!

You'd rather ignore your problems than rock the boat by creating conflict. Please understand that in the long run ignoring conflict will make you unhappy and your partner exhausted. Try picking a fight just to see how it goes. You'll find out that solving problems is so satisfying for you that it makes conflict worth it.

Your sex life could be fantastic if you could stop worrying about everything so much (did I wash my hands? how do I look? what do I need to do tomorrow?). You need a sweet, expressive lover who makes you feel at ease and never puts pressure on you. If you feel secure with your partner outside the bedroom, it will make all the difference.

You cry at movies. A lot.

Of the 5996 people who have taken this quiz, 6.4 % are this type.


Figures. I do cry at movies a lot. I'm rare. Just like my A- blood type.