Friday, February 20, 2004

Haute Coco

I have come to realize that the patrons are not going to stop giving off a bad odour. In an effort to combat this, I have come up with a simple solution:

As librarians, we have to smell twice as good.

I heard a story a while back, about a librarian at a branch that shall remain nameless. Rules in our system only allow us to ask patrons to leave if thier bodily odour is offending other patrons who complain to the powers that be. We on the other hand, have to sit contentedly and experience the ramifications of the unbathed.

This librarian waited until the patron had walked away, and then spritzed the air with Lysol. While we may be laughing to ourselves, she got in trouble. I will candidly admit that we do keep a can of air sanitizer handy at the desk, however we don't use it to mask the stench of the patrons.

So I come to you with this solution: fragrance for the librarian. I myself have recently fallen in love with a fragrance by Marc Jacobs. I has been described as "Contain[ing] notes of Italian Bergamot, Cumin, Cardamom, Ginger, Fig Leaves, Cedarwood, Patchouli, and Musk." This fragrance is really the Chanel No. 5 for men. Delicious. If a patron offends my olfactory, I merely have to hold my wrist near my "romanesqe" nose, and voila! I'm in heaven.

Some other fragrances I'd like to suggest:

Clinique, Happy for Men
Lui, by Armani
L'eau d'Issey, by Issey Miyake
Lacoste Pour Homme, by Lacoste
Portfolio, by Perry Ellis
Tommy, by Hilfiger

They let the patron know you do think of every last detail. I know I have wished french cuffs on all of you, but if that is too much to handle, surely you can sport fragrance. No cumbersome cufflinks, no "is this too daring"' tie bars. This is one place you can venture, and feel safe.

Remember when applying...think pulse points. Wrist, under the ear, but on the neck, and for good measure a dab under your chin above your adams-apple.

Ladies, please don't feel left out. I have suggestions for you too!

Of course, my #1 suggestion for the ladies: Chanel No. 5. It is NOT grandmotherly. It is reassuring, confident, and delicious to the nose.

A few others of note:

Pleasures for Women, by Estee Lauder
Romance for Women, by Ralph Lauren
Angel for Women, by Thierry Muglar
Jessica McClintock by Jessica McClintock
Nicole Miller, by Nicole Miller

All of these scents are of course 100% approved by me. I do not know if they are tested on animals or patrons. These scents are the same sort that we enjoy passing by people wearing when we are shopping for linens, or garden implements. Perhaps the fragrances that we might stop someone in the shop and ask "What are you wearing? Its wonderful!" (and yes, I do this).

I would have linked each one for you, but I am supposed to be studying for my research methodology class right now. Marc Jacobs inspired me so much, I had share right away. I think this is what they mean by "librarians publishing results".

Chanel once said "A women who doesn't wear perfume has no future", I'd agree the same holds true for men who wear no cologne.

Moral of this blog: Haute Coco and fragrance are a wonderful way to start the day.

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