Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Love don't live here anymore...



It lives in this midwestern state I know call home. For the past two weeks, I've been putting all my librarian skills to the limit, compiling proof that I am indeed a resident of this fine state. I am no longer a NYer, or an Chicagoan..I am officially on Ohioan. Please pause and take a moment of silence for me. OK, moving on.

The process requires me to send them everything from my driving license to my latest and embarrassing credit card statements. Oddly, the Motor Bureau thought it was good enough that I registered my car here. They gave me a license, which you can only have one of...legally. The 3 libraries that I have cards for also require proof of residency. Seems my drivers license and a current utility bill takes care of this. OH, but not for my grand University. They need to know I pay taxes here, work here, live here, spend my work dollars here.

The catch is, you have to apply for residency under the conditions that you didn't move here to reduce your tuition after one year. I have to prove that I moved here to become "...a functioning citizen of this state". Considering the fact that I could have moved here, and signed up for public aid on the money I make, that is kind of crazy. What does functioning mean?

What if we only gave library cards to "functioning citizens" of our neighborhood. That would cut our patronage in half.

You don't work? Sorry, no library card.
What, you're retired? Sorry, no library card.
You're 17 and don't pay taxes yet? Sorry, no library card?
Oh, look at you cute baby. What? No drivers license? Sorry, no library card.

We could eliminate the childrens department, large print, and even the employment section of our website...no patrons would need it. Yet, poor me had to endure hours of mind numbing paperwork just to prove that for the past 12 months I have lived in a city in this fine state that doesn't have Thai food, a decent public transportation system, a functioning garden society, helmet laws for motorcyclists, or enforcable noise pollution laws.

But I live here now. I'm a resident. So please, for the love of G-d, cut my tuition in half please. I moved here for all those other great things, not for grad school in the middle of Nowhere, USA. According to the rules in the time stakingly prepared package I just expressed mailed to my University, I should qualify for in state tuition. Here's hoping that all that Waterman ink on that form pays for itself.

Moral of this blog: I'm still a NYer. shhhh.

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