Saturday, September 18, 2004

Dear Well Dressed Librarian

Due to an overwhelmingly popular response, Dear WDL is back again. I didn't have to dig too deep into my mailbag to share the following with my adoring public:

Dear WDL,

I was reading your blog, and thought to myself "oh my G-d, I've slept with him". Is it possible that you and I had the romantic rendez-vous that I am recalling?

Remembering the Ride

Dear RTR,

While it is all too possible that at one point during my undergraduate career I did help you wrinkle the sheets, I regret to inform you that I do not recognize you, despite the helpful pictures you attached. As a librarian wanna be, I have kept documentation of all my fast times at Ridgemont High in a little handy source I like to call my journal. A quick cross reference has revealed that indeed I am not the lover you recall. I might suggest that you keep a similar record, to help avoid regression therapy induced memories of lost love.

Dear WDL,

I am not gay. People think I am gay all the time, because I carry a "murse" as you call it, and have clean finger nails. I had a girlfriend last year, but she moved to Topeka after college to work for her Grandfathers business. I don't think its bad that people think I'm gay, but its hard for me to meet girls because I am so shy.

Makin' my own Vagina Collage


Not exactly a soliciation for advice, is it? People probably don't think you are gay because you carry a murse, and have no girlfriend. People know you are gay. You probably do too. Its actually a lot of fun. Lots of people sending invites to "fix you up with the other gay person" they know, people always thinking you know more about fashion and interior design, and you get the most thoughtful gifts around the holidays...most of which are household appliances and coffee table books about pets. If you think having dirty finger nails will "set you free", then I suggest a good scrape in the sod and buy a briefcase. Perhaps this will convince your cronies that you are not really WDL wanna be. At any rate, I'd start by throwing away all the International Male Catalogues you have hiding under your bed. Bonne Chance. If you understood that, all bets are on :you are gay.

Dear WDL,

First, your blog is great, always makes us laugh...we read it in the office outloud. Second, I was wondering what your take is on casual Fridays?

Desk Jockey

Dear DJ,

How flattered I am to know that I am as enjoyable as I think I am. I'm happy to imagine you all huddled around like a family listening to an FDR fireside chat. So, my take on casual Friday....I'd say that it seems to have sprung a leak. Seems like every day of the week has become casual. Anything that includes denim jeans is casual. Any Men's top that doesn't have buttons is casual. This brings me to my chief concern: casual Friday is really more like "I got out of bed and came to work" Friday. Sweatpants, sneakers, non-work related logo-t's. In an idea world, casual Friday's would mean men wore jeans instead of dress trousers. All the other parts stay the same: Loafers, button down shirts, blazers, and a belt that matches. Women, this means khaki's, and a cardigan over a blouse or well fitted pullover. In the winter, this can include ribbed "skinny" sweaters with jeans (which should be ironed people). Ladies can spice this up with a broach, or my favorite..draped pearls.

I could go on for days. This is a passionate subject for me. Thank you for listening, and continue to "gather round" to read me.

Dear WDL,

How do you feel about food in the library? You seem to have a lot of pet peeves...wondering if this was one of them?


Dear Marvin,

Snacks + books = Barnes and Noble. Call me old fashioned, but I don't like to see food in the library. I recall several instances of it, and none of them were what I'd call "neat and tidy". If the library has an annex with a cafe or snack machine where they could eat it, then a tentative OK. If they can sit and have a ham sandwhich while reading Time magazine, I draw the line. It soils the books. I guess in a public library where materials have a high turn over anyway, it might be more acceptable. A resounding 'no' to academic libraries and research libraries. Corporate libraries? Usually the people are too busy drinking cocktails to eat. Well, I was usually to busy having cocktails to notice if they had food. That seems to answer your question, and yes dear Martin, I do have a lot of pet peeves. By sharing them, I in a way provide fodder for my adoring public.

Moral of this blog: Keep writing, I'll keep answering.

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