Wednesday, November 03, 2004


I went to bed at 1am with hope. I woke at 3:30 to check CNN, and watch a bit of CNN on the tellie. I woke again at 5:00 to check CNN again...and just stayed up. All 161 lbs of me was numb. These were not the results I anticipated. I had visions of John Kerry shaking his fist in victory on the font steps of the Boston Public Library.

Mr. Kerry, you did not let me down. Its the rest of the red states. I don't know how I'm going to fare in this environment. My state voted to ban gay marriage. Do I live in a country that will so willingly take my tax dollars, and deny me rights that everyone else has? I guess so. 4 more years. Hopefully, like my Undergraduate years-it will all pass quickly, minus the haze of booze and too many cigarettes. Perhaps that was the key to making it pass so quickly-but I don't think a drunk librarian who smells like smoke will be an assett. But at this point, I'm not feeling like much of an assett to anyone-especially my country.

I kept my Kerry/Edwards sign up on my front door in hopes that a miraculous number of votes would be found somewhere in the state of Ohio-making Kerry's concesion speach unnecessary. I suppose I'll take it down now, and sit quietly in my sitting room, drinking tea with a splash of bourbon. Despite being chastised for my "ivory tower-esque" behavior-it will be the creature comforts of my home that I can rely on.

Do the republicans I know really hate me? Or do they just love George Bush more? Do these people want for me to be stripped of rights while my tax dollars pad their social security? Perhaps I'll never know. While I've realized that the world doesn't revolve around me, I can't but help be paranoid that the people who I associate with, sit next to, send holiday cards to- may actually despise every thing about me. Thats a tough pill to swallow.

Moral of this blog:
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

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