Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Double Entendre

Mrs. SlocombeOne of my favorite lines ever uttered on television was quipped by a sales woman named Mrs. Slocombe on Are You Being Served? The line was this: "I inadvertantly dropped some perfume on my pussy and I had tomcats throwing themselves at my catflap all night." The intended double entendre is hilarious, and dirty. Another classic "I never having any trouble getting up in the morning, my pussy is like an alarm clock." You get the point. Dirty+intended pun=Superfunny.com.

So, welcome to the public library. One of the classic lines we get to use every day.

Patron: I'd like a library card.
Hot WDL: I'd like to give you one.

A card, or something else (if they are hot and foriegn, probably something else).

Patron: I need the DVD for this case:
Hot WDL: Go over to the desk. He'll fill your box.

However, the dynamic of the entendre is lost on the patron. Recently,an argument transpired between a patron and a security gaurd.

Security Gaurd: Ma'am, I'm sorry, thats unacceptable behavior, you need to leave.
Patron: You know what you need? You need to get some pussy.

Do you suppose she meant the security gaurd should take up cats as a hobby? The art of the quickly dropped filthy (or was it?) comment was lost that day in my library.

Moral of this blog: My lease only allows for two pussies. And trust me, that rule will never be broken.

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