Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Well Dressed Patronage

hot sexy coeds So, like any good librarian wondering what exactly brings the patrons in, I installed a low-tech traffic stats counter. Its only purpose is to see what people come to this particular piece of the web for.

I have to admit. I was totally shocked.

It seems people have actually been coming here for scholarship information. I guess it was good that I put a few bits and pieces in here about scholarships for other hot, Jewish, potential librarians.

Not surprisingly, people also came here because I use the terms "hot and sexy" to describe librarians, more often than not. The only true shocker was "wet, hot co-eds", which I do not remember putting into my blog at any point in time, but it brought some pervo from Great Britain here. In honor of him, I have posted a picture of hot, female co-eds up in the corner. The context: the are in an engine plant. I'm sure they are hot because of the temperature. If they sweat a bit, they might even be hot, wet co-eds. Good, now I've ensured a bit more traffic at my little piece of the web.

Now that I know what draws the kids in, I can set up house properly. I've also found that when I go on about myself, I get triple the number of hits versus when I post something scholarly. Guess this says something too. Its kind of pie in the eye for the folks who argue that blogs should be a professional tool. Call me a corporate whore, but its the numbers that count to me. Actually, that might be my new tag line.

I'm astonished that I actually have readers from all over the world. Just last night, I had visitors from several states and a few countries. Excellent, I can now officially call myself international. I probably could have before, but now I have facts and figures to back me up, instead of several photographs taken infront of major European landmarks. Though I do look hot infront of Big Ben. Just saying that is hot.

I've also been thinking, what exactly is a Well Dressed Librarian? Is it someone who can just waltz into a Bloomies and come out with some chic retro-geek looking tweeds and carry it off tied to a MLIS? Or is it being label concious? I can tell you one thing, outside of my signature plaid scarf...you'd be hard up telling who I was wearing. Its all about how you carry yourself (plus the MLIS for good measure). Have I always been well dressed? Depends. The 80's were tough on all of us. I was cute, but didn't escape the bowl cut. I was pleased to note that I looked a bit like this when I was young. It wasn't until my first year of college that I started to worry about everything. That is when I first shaped my eyebrows, began shaving with a razor instead of an electric shaver, and going to a stylist rather than a barber.

My sophomore year, a dear friend at a near by college asked me to accompany her to a ball. Her boyfriend had dumped her, and we were best friends in high school. I said sure, and dressed in the best I had. I looked like a schlub compared to the other guys at the ball. I was so upset with myself. I actually threw away most of my clothes, and then went shopping. From that moment on, no one has ever questioned me about my fashion sensibility. So yes, devoted readers, in essence, trauma brought me to my present state of glamourocity. A pretty boy with perfect clothes, a subtle french fragrance, and manners to boot. I had become the person I always wanted to be. Only I wasn't a librarian.

Over the years, I've acquired a vintage tuxedo (which I wore twice weekly while at Oxford), too many sports coats, ties, then bowties, now ascots. French cuffs replaced most of my regular button down shirts. I admit, I do take days to get dressed in the morning...which is part of the reason I have to get up at 6, no matter what day of the week it is.

A well dressed librarian does own lounge wear, but doesn't let it take control of his life. This is why I have 2 pairs of sweats, a few zippies (thats what we call vintage track jackets), and a sweat shirt, that is reserved purely for end of year gardening. Everything can be cleaned, so there is no real excuse for not cleaning house with an apron over nice things. One never knows when a guest may drop in unexpectedly. Put out the tea things, slip out of the apron..and poof. Perfect...just like always.

And of course, I'm almost done with that MLIS degree. Ahhh. Finally. A well dressed librarian.

Moral of this blog: Hot librarians were once hot co-eds.

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