Thursday, June 09, 2005

Here to serve

Just to make the lives of complainers easier, I’ve created a multiple choice letter of complaint. I can’t help myself now that I really can help serve the public.

Name
Street Address
City, State Zip
Phone (if you have one)

Dear a)Random name I picked up while complaining at a branch location,
b)Director whose name I don’t know
c)President of the library

I was recently in your a)lobby b)magazine area c)AV department d)that part with books, and I noticed a)what I’d call pornography b)something against my religion c)something inappropriate for children d)something to complain about.

I would like you to a)withdraw this material b)discontinue your subscription c)explain why I’m wrong d)do something because I am a)terribly religious b)retired c)a hypocrite d)noted for aimless rambling. If nothing is done I will a)boycott the library b)tell all my friends not to come there anymore c)write a legislator who I heard on TV d)pray to save your souls.

I a)appreciate you taking time to read this b)hope you make these changes c)will never return to the library d)am in shock that I saw said material in your library. Please let me know what you will do to correct this situation.

a)Sincerely,
b)Yours,
c)An outraged patron,
d)Love,

Your name

CC: a)fake leglislator
b)fake attorney
c)Captain Hook

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