Sunday, July 16, 2006

Sightings, Celebrity

don't tell me that!! So in preparation for my big move, I decided to have a lavish yard sale, one woman said it was more like a "porch boutique", which delighted me to no end.

Did I mention it was 96 degrees? I was getting kind of schvitzy.

At anyrate, as the day went on, I thought I had made it without being discovered by one of the many customers who use the library that I work for.

She of course was just looking at my lovely things, when she noticed me. She looked at me again, and then again.

And then she raised a crooked old finger and pointed it at me while exclaiming "YOU...."

Mind you I did have on sunglasses. Not a perfect disguise, but a start.

She came over and began confessing her latest surgical procedure to me. EVERY DETAIL, down to the fact that they had "cut her from about here (insert generalized hand motions) down to my vagi"....*NEEDLE PULLING OFF RECORD* I put my hand up and said:

"OH MY G-D!" Then I said "that must have been awful for everyone involved." It was now that I was.

Mind you this was at a YARD SALE. There were other people there. But at least I now know the following:

She can't bathe until the stitches are out. In the meanwhile she takes sponge baths.
She has 14 stitches.
She no longer has ovaries.
She is 63, and doesn't really need ovaries. She's done having babies.

Luckily for me, I had seen Strangers with Candy at its Grand Opening in the Almost Square State. Took the edge off just a little bit.

At any rate, do all librarians play the role of confession listener from the customers? Is it just the endearing faces of the most public librarians that get this? Or can the general public sense our passion for the them and the profession? Maybe we'll never know.

In the mean time, I know that I really thought this woman was going to pull her shirt up to show me the scar. I'm still recovering from that.

Moral of this blog: I don't even know what confession is. We don't have it at schul!

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