Monday, January 01, 2007

Tables, Cocktail

please save a cocktail table2007 is upon us gentle readers. The last month has been filled with travel, guests, and cocktails.

Usually, I spend time thinking of what my New Year's resolutions are going to be - only this year I started thinking about what was already good - not what I wanted to change. When I say "already good", I am talking about what works in my life, what positive things have come from my over the top, neurotic behavior. What is the clever saying? "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" - there were too many things to focus on retaining, rather that what behaviors I would discard, or modify. G-d knows I have enough bad habits, but I quite enjoy them.

One of the things I decided that I loved were my cocktail tables. How can a person have cocktail parties if they don't own cocktail tables? This is a question I am not prepared to even think about, life would be so challenging without them.

And because I love my cocktail tables sooo much, I have decided to impart more gentle wisdom on my devoted readers. There is one thing you can have in your life, if you too are devotees of the cocktail table.


I have been accused in the past of being a "Coaster Nazi", and while not a term that is often used in polite society, it is none the less true. Do not set a beverage or bevvy as we call them in my world, on a cocktail table without a coaster. To mar the beauty of a cocktail table is an unfathomable tragedy, by my own standards. Like pulling whiskers off a kitten, or letting the water run low in the goldfish bowl. Pure acts of horror. Horror. Why deface such a valuable member of your household furniture?

Now I am sure some of you are thinking "there are starving children in China, unrest in the middle east - and you are worried about water rings on a cocktail table?" To those people I say "but someone must be concerned", and frankly, I am ready to champion this cause.

My cocktail tables are vintage War era furniture. And for those of you who are virgin readers may ask "War? Which war? Vietnam?" To you, I say "no", THE WAR. WWII my dear, new, reader. They have been white washed, and look quite smart. One misplaced coffee mug could ruin them for all eternity - and so, I suggest the coaster.

My coasters are made of tumbled marble. They are smart and sturdy, and serve to protect my tables like little knights in shining marble. How many of you have suffered trying to remove a water circle from your table? I understand your pain. I purchased several pieces of War era furniture for my bedroom - the bureau was scarred with one of these milky rings. It took me forever to bring it back to its original glory - and with this task, I was converted into an advocate for those who can't speak for themselves.

My advice dear reader, as in any organized neat space, is to keep it that way. No one wants to have a cocktail party on a table that looks like it spent its best years in the back room of an Odd Bins. Encourage/Force your guests to use coasters.

This can be done by setting a good example for them by doing so yourself. If the host is doing it, it is de rigeur for the visitor as well. Some people with carpet (and I choke at the idea of carpet) ask people to remove their shoes. I have found that I'd rather have guests fully clothed in my home - but aware of leaving behind no evidence that they were here. Perhaps I've had too much Agatha Christie, but trust me, coasters are a fantastic suggestion.

May your 2007 be ring free, gentle readers.

Moral of this blog: Save the cocktail tables. What would this world be like without them?

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