Monday, February 11, 2008

Do?, What does a Librarian

are you fucking kidding me?Who knows. But I can tell you what this librarian does. Fret.

Yes my gentle readers, I fret - and I find myself doing it more and more of late.

Not work related, I can tell you this is not a work related blog at all. If my job could love me back, I'd marry it. That is, if the gays could marry, which we can't.

This librarian has finally figured out where everything in his apartment goes. This meant moving a desk, steamer trunk, and 2 book cases around several times this weekend. This librarian has also realized it is no fun to move things alone. I've also realized how little I need to be happy.

This librarian hates dating. Apparently, being a librarian is huge kink. I didn't get my masters degree to turn a guy on. I did it because I'm bright, and wanted the job of my dreams. Apparently being a Jewish Librarian is double kink. Yet again, something I don't have much control over.

This librarian needs to be less hopeful. I'm tired of the disappointment that ensues. Is no one else as genuine? Funny? I'm picky, but comeon. Life is turning into a Seinfeld episode. What is wrong with all you people?

Waitress (at the next table): Here's your knife and fork.

Jerry: Look, she's cutting up an Almond Joy.

Elaine: I just don't get it.

Jerry: You know, I saw someone on the street eating M&Ms with a spoon.

Elaine: What is wrong with everybody?

Jerry (surveying the restaurant): Look, they're doing it. They're all doing it!

Elaine (standing up): What is wrong with all you people?! Have you all gone mad?!!

-from the episode Pledge Drive October, 1994

And finally, this librarian is good at finding the answers to tough questions. So here's one:

"Does a cute, self confident, thin, tall, messy haired, emotionally available, good conversationalist, educated, kinda Indie-guy with a nice smile, family oriented,and wears converse sneakers, exist in Chicago?"

And you know what? This librarian doesn't know the answer. And I hate that. And this, gentle readers, is what makes me fret. Its not something I should be focusing on, but I can't seem to help myself. I'm starting to think this question doesn't actually have an answer.

And to all the yentas who so badly hate seeing me alone - is your grandson available?

Applications can be submitted until this post is filled. No double entendre intended. Though a completely filthy one can be elicited, for your reading pleasure.

Moral of this blog: I don't enjoy long walks on beaches.

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