Friday, February 15, 2008

Rehab, Librarian

they tried to make me to to rehab and i said no no noThese, my gentle readers, may prove to be the death knell of the library profession. "Why? HOW?" you may wonder to yourself, as you sip your Baileys laced coffee at your desk this morning, brushing the occasional danish crumb from your lap.

After reading the super hilarious and brutally honest AL's stimulating, and rather recent thread on the term "guybrarian", I started thinking of other things in the library profession that really got my goat. I realized that the term "Guybrarian" isn't one of them.

And so being the darling,doyen, Pollyanna of our profession, I had trouble coming up with something that really bothered me.

And then it struck me. The appearance of the librarian. Granted, there have been multipe articles written about the way librarians look.

An article on hipster librarians resulted in people screaming and yelling that the yuppy 20 something librarians were not representative of the community.

Another article on the librarian being dowdy (the Nancy Pearl doll, ring any bells?)resulted in yet another outcry from the community.

I've realized why. The people screaming so loud were the very people who:

a)Will(hopefully) retire soon, and hate seeing themselves replaced.
b)Pretty much complain about everything.
c)Are dowdy, and can not admit to it. So I will just point it out.
d)Somehow think that spending $100 on a pair of jeans is wasteful, but spend twice as much on knitting supplies, and getting their hair set on Saturdays at Iola's Beauty Parlor. And suck it. I like my square framed retro glasses - they are cuter than the drug store magnifiers you are wearing.

So my priorities are different. So are our generations.

I'm soooo bored of the argument " perpetuates a stereotype that is demeaning to our profession."

Guess what? YOU are perpetuating the stereotype! Not the Nancy Pearl doll.

The gay community is often represented by a rainbow - because of all the different ethnicities and cultures of people that make it up.

The librarian community is much the same - only for now, it is predominantly older and female. And I adore you older females - not in a Mrs. Robinson way, but in a "I love that you've blazed a trail for me, now let me do what I know how to do...and stop second guessing me, and talking about me behind my back" kind of way.

But stop wearing those horrible sweaters to work. Please. People will continue to make fun of librarians, not for all the other reasons you've supposed, but because of those tacky, jeweled, holiday themed sweaters. Oh my G-d. Do you know that people are laughing at you? Do you know I am blogging about you?

People do not take clowns serioulsy. Painted up, and wearing silly clothes. At least clowns don't have an air of elitism.

Are you like Amy Winehouse, and not even realize you have a problem? (omg, that is my second AW reference in two days! I love it. I'm totally stopping off on my way home to buy all her CD's!)

Will I need to publish pictures of you smoking crack in your holiday sweater before you realize this is a problem??

I should hope not. There really is no reason not to look your best everday at work.

I don't want to hear about comfort. We can wear comfy clothes when no one is looking. To bed even. Though I do wear pajama suits.

I don't want to hear about "I get dirty at work." Have you heard of a washer & dryer?

I don't want to hear "But I work with children." I have lots of friends who are school teachers, and they are gorgeous.

I don't want to hear "No one sees me." That must just be a lonely existance. Go ahead. Wear your bra & panties to work. I dare you....find out how many people actually see you.

I don't want to hear "I don't get paid enough to look good." Do you need to get paid to look good? Do you have no self respect?

I don't want to hear "Heels are uncomfortable." Don't wear them then, get some Mary Janes!

I don't want to hear "I don't have time to get ready in the morning." Get up earlier. Lazy.

And for G-d's sake, I don't want to hear "But I like bedazzled sweaters." I'll just punch you in the neck.

And I realize it's not all about what I don't want to hear. But as the authority on Librarian Style, I can judge you outloud.

Granted, it is all about priorities. Mother Theresa wasn't all that stylin', but then again, she took vows. Did you?

People complain that men climb to the top in our woman-heavy field. Actually, there really isn't anything librarians won't complain about. We have lots of opinions about everything.

And I am lucky. I'm a one person library - so I can dress the nines everyday. That makes 100% of my staff well dressed.

And then of course, there is the arbitrary debate on what "looking good" means. And men, I'm talking to you too, you haven't gotten off the hook. Though, you are probably gay anyway, so you're probably fine.

Do you think that there is nothing wrong with the above photographs? Did you actually wonder where you could buy those sweaters?

Gentle reader, you are the person I have a problem with. I have to look twice as good now to make up for your karmic lack of style. I have to distract the masses - and yes, the NY Times may write another article on stylish librarians. Which you will also hate, because you are bitter, and jealous that no one thought that it would be interesting to read about a dowdy middle age woman wearing clothes from the Comfort Zone - no matter how nice you are, or how many great felt board story hours you've given to the warm reception of 5 year olds.

We have a stereotypical image because we've earned it. Now you scream when people say "librarians are hip, cool, and dress well" - and you scream to say "NO! I'm not like that...I'm something different. I'M THE ONE IN THE JEWELED SWEATER!!" Hmmm. Where oh where do these sterotypes come from?

Moral of this blog: I hope the bedazzler factory burns down.

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