Friday, May 02, 2008

Library School, Courses I wish they had in

Hot Librarians workin' itSo, today after a few phone calls, I decided that there were things I wish I would have learned to deal with while I was in Library School™. Not that I can't function properly without knowing these things, I'm just saying they would have been nice to know.

I decided to create a bunch of course listings that I think that other librarians, and Graduate Students in our fine profession would have also enjoyed/would enjoy that in our day to day lives, we could do an even better job.

LIS503 Info. Retrieval
Focuses on finding materials/regalia in your building/office/desk that another librarian hid or misplaced while working for their library. This class will offer filing techniques, searching methods, instruction on inserting batteries in flashlights, hand washing methods, case studies in hoarding and effective methods for dealing with hoarders and their aftermath, and edification on proper recycling behaviors. No books required. In fact, throw one away.

LIS598 Classification
This course discusses and elaborates on quick patron personality type identification. The aim is to reduce the amount of time you spend working with crazy people who just want to chat, while getting to the bottom of a query. Guest speakers will include but are not limited to: schizophrenics, manic depressives, the unbathed, a stage mother, elderly couples, perverts, a homeless guy with a shopping cart, drug addicts, and emo teens. Subscription to People magazine required.

LIS564 The Internets *6 credits
Course work prepares future reference librarians for dealing with terminology that patrons/customers will use that makes no sense. Course will be taught by the editors of Pre-req: LIS512 Jive

LIS587 Youth Literacy
Intensive focus on WWF Smack Down Magazine, Teen Beat, Teen Vogue, Nintendo Wii, and Harry Potter. Learning to realize that only a few kids read is easy once you take this class! Your sense of disappointment in the real world is dissipated 10 fold. Field trips to inner-city Urban school libraries will show you that 73 books in a library is a lot. Core component class for AV/Media Specialist track students, and Youth Librarians.

LIS 541 Informatics
Work includes identifying various illegal substances, bodily fluids, and drug paraphernalia. At the end of the course students will be expected to clearly identify which substance a patron has been impaired by, and possibly what they ate for lunch. Text Book Required: High Times Compendium 1995-2005

LIS599 Health Science Libraries
Students will provide accurate diagnosis of rashes, leisions, and assorted scabbed over sores. Intensive focus on STD identification will be offered over the last two Sundays of the course.

There are more. I could go on for days, but I coulda had a leg up.

Moral of this blog: Um, my friend has this blotchy rash, and um...

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